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Post by Eon on Jul 11, 2005 23:49:47 GMT -5
Either a vacuum or Vancouver at night.
Why aren't you supposed to do magic?
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Post by Deep Thought on Jul 12, 2005 8:51:00 GMT -5
'cause magic's father will get very very angry at you.... and you do not want that...
Why did the chicken really cross the road?
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Post by Xtreme on Jul 12, 2005 13:59:37 GMT -5
just remeber... you asked for this one Deep Thought
Howard Stern's Answer: I'm afraid to answer that because the FCC would fine me for it! Wait until I'm on satellite radio, then I'll tell you.
Jose Canseco's Answer: The chicken was juiced up on steroids! Mark McGwire and I would shoot the chicken in the buttocks everyday after baseball practice. All the details are in my new book.
Jessica Simpson 's Answer: Why would he be one a road, I thought chickens lived in the ocean?
Homer Simpson 's Answer: There was free beer on the other side of the road.
Bill Cosby 's Answer: Weeelll, ya see, the chicken crossed the road, and to get... to...the jello pudding pops.
Snoop Dogg 's Answer: This (censored) fool of a chicken didn't (censored) know what the (censored) he was doin crossin a (censored) alley in (censored) Harlem at 1:00 in the (censored) mornin'.
Linda Tripp 's Answer: "I've been friends with this chicken for a long time. I only recorded the chicken's crossing of the road because it was important for the country to know what was going on Pennsylvania Ave."
Isaac Newton 's Answer: The duck suggested to the chicken that they play follow the leader then the duck crossed the road causing the chicken to cross after it, but at the same time holding up traffic, thus proving that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction .
Shakespeare 's Answer: To cross or not to cross, that is the question.
Rene Descartes 's Answer: Since the chicken does not really exist it was only an illusion that the chicken crossed the road. This illusion was only in my mind. Therefore I created the chicken that crossed the road.
Ken Lay's Answer: I was not aware of the chicken's crossing the road or of any accounting tricks used by Enron to disguise the chicken's true position.
John Kerry's Answer: I agree that the chicken should cross the road, but I believe that the chicken should not get to the other side..
Pete Rose 's Answer: I don't know, but I swear I didn't bet on it.
Gandhi 's Answer: All chickens should peacefully resist by crossing the road.
Steve Jobs 's (Apple) Answer: Because of the brand-new iChicken- a portable device that crosses roads, lays eggs, gives wakeup calls and provides dinner, automatically. This amazing device can simply plug in to the $4000 iCoop to produce additional iChickens and recharge existing iChickens, or plug it into the $9000 iChop to convert iChicken files into iFood. iFood-to-Regular Food converters sell for an additional $50/month fee, however the optional iFood-to-FoodXP converter is still in development. iChickens are only available from authorized iDealers, which can be found in nearly every US state. If your iChicken develops a disease or stops working, you must send it by FedEx Overnight to Littleton, Montana and our iTechnicians will send you a replacement within 3 months. The iChicken. Wow.
Colin Powell 's Answer: This is not about whether inspectors made sure the chicken crossed the road, it's about the willingness of the chicken to cross the road voluntarily.
Darwin's Answer: It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees.
Another Answer: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.
(former) Iraq Information Minister: There is no such chicken trying to cross the road, and there never has been any such chicken.
Moses's Answer: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
Douglas Adams's Answer: Forty-two.
Johnny Cochran 's Answer: Because the road was black and the chicken was white. We must acquit.
Mark Twain's Answer: The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated.
Secretary Cheney's Answer: Chickens are big-time because they have wings. They could fly if they wanted to. Chickens don't want to cross the road. They don't need help crossing the road. In fact, I'm not interested in crossing the road myself.
George Bush's Answer: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.
Martha Stewart's Answer: No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
Ernest Hemingway's Answer: To die. In the rain. Alone.
Martin Luther King Jr's Answer: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
Jerry Seinfield's Answer: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, "What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place anyway?"
Saddam Hussein's Answer: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
Albert Einstein's Answer: Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?
L.A.P.D.'s Answer: Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.
Xtremes Answer: cause he called a Troll a Trog, and that no amount of sitting on his face would help with his looks..
Which came first... the chicken or the egg?
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Post by Deep Thought on Jul 12, 2005 14:25:17 GMT -5
One second. ... .... Oh man... what the crap was that?! Ugh. Okay. back to the game. ...
Actually thats a missconception, the omelet came first.
Marco?
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Post by Xtreme on Jul 12, 2005 15:53:07 GMT -5
polio (everyone dies MUAHAHAHAHA)
does the Dew from Moutains really taste like lemon/lime soda with caffine?
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Post by The Great Krass on Jul 12, 2005 23:48:23 GMT -5
No it just contains nudity, sex references and implied soft drug use.
Why is it that the first bug to hit a clean windshield lands directly in front of your eyes?
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Post by Saber Drache on Jul 13, 2005 0:27:50 GMT -5
Its to distract you from the pidgeon stuff that was aimed at your forehead.
Why is it that pizzaology (the science of cooking/preparing frozen pizza) can never be timed preciscely and must be done on instinct?
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Post by Eon on Jul 13, 2005 6:19:59 GMT -5
No philosophy, sadly, has all the answers. No matter how assured we may be about certain aspects of our belief, there are always painful inconsistencies, exceptions, and contradictions.
Ich bin in einem dusenjet ins jahr 53 vor chr …ich lande im antiken Rom …einige gladiatoren spielen scrabble …ich rieche PIZZA ?
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Post by The Great Krass on Jul 13, 2005 6:22:35 GMT -5
Eon, it's because you are still a bitch.
Were you driving the PONTIAC that HONKED at me in MIAMI last Tuesday?
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Post by Xtreme on Jul 13, 2005 12:01:48 GMT -5
sorry, no.. it was me.. I thought you had nice pecks
why havent Eon and Krass signed up to become members?
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Post by Deep Thought on Jul 13, 2005 14:22:54 GMT -5
Probably just too lazy to log in like I am.
How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?
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Post by mechwarrior5 on Jul 13, 2005 15:33:26 GMT -5
Depends on the girl in question *rimshot*
It's midnight, we have a full tank of gas, and we're wearing sunglasses. Why?
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Post by Xtreme on Jul 13, 2005 18:18:37 GMT -5
probably rigged some explosives in the car in front of you
why does crayola feel the need to make and name over 200 different colored crayons?
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Post by Saber Drache on Jul 14, 2005 0:21:32 GMT -5
That was a bet over a very long and drawn out drinking game that lasted three days. They still have 182 more different colors to make.
Is the pen mightier than the sword?
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Post by The Great Krass on Jul 14, 2005 0:45:31 GMT -5
Yes, BG, Gill Bates had this to say about it. "We are Microsoft. Unix is irrelevant. Openness is futile. Prepare to be assimilated."
"Are you insinuating that I would rape my own mother?"
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