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Post by Pelch Gobwit on Jul 16, 2007 3:28:40 GMT -5
Today in the KONG Newsroom, a joy gang of dwarfs attacked a group of protesters near the Skagit Nuclear Facility. It all started when the gang stopped at Lil's Mini Mart & Truck Stop for some shortcake, sausage, beer and small talk and ran into the Green peace protestors eating breakfast. “Our buns had been on a roll all day and we wanted to take a break” said gang leader Tiny Hinny. “Then this eco-protestor guy, Tuff Buck, at least 5’ 4” & 135 lbs, wouldn’t let us use the booster chairs and took offense at the fact that we wanted meat.”
A little scuffle broke out and Tuff Buck got his shorts kicked down to his shins along with several of his friends. “I would have kicked his ass first if I could have reached it” Tiny said.
The motorcycle gang is comprised of gang leader Tiny Hinny, thought to be Tattoo of Fantasy Island, two renegade Santa’s elf's, a retired Oz munchkin called Don I Moose, a short order cook from Keebler, who brought his little woman along to help out a little, and a small group of lesser individuals.
Fed up with all the shortages, the gang wanted answers, no more small talk.
What started as a little scuffle would have escalated into something major if that Harley TV commercial hadn’t aired when it did.
Harley was sporting the New Krass/Drassel MG 4 Midget Petite Harley. No more big wheels, custom pedal blocks and very little down with a small deposit. The scuffle was over as fast as it started.
When last seen, the gang was headed to the dealership to trade in their Big Wheel Trikes.
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Post by Pelch Gobwit on Jul 17, 2007 1:04:55 GMT -5
"Today on 'Making History in Seattle', we are talking with Doctor Professor Nibwitz on the protests and riots out near the Skagit Valley facility. These riots have been increasing in size and strength until even downtown areas seem to be involved. Tell me Doctor Professor what do you see happening in these riots?"
"In Seattle's Skagit Valley last May the slightest disturbance might end in a serious riot. Often a union teamster or protestor stopped his truck full of protesters at a cross street, a non-union caravan halted a moment, almost instantaneously other heavy vehicles hemmed it in, cars were stalled, there was cursing and bottle throwing and an exchange of blows and shots. Perhaps a shower of toner cartridges and cell phones and bottles came from the windows of the tall office buildings. The Lone Star troopers rang in a riot call, and with their reinforcements beat back the jeering crowd, dragged away the blockading trucks by sheer force, and the train of strike-breaking vehicles moved on with a dozen broken heads among the union and protestor drivers."
"This was in the business heart of the city. Farther out men used more primitive methods of combat. They knocked each other down with clubs and blackjacks, and then kicked in heads and ribs, and gouged out eyes, and slashed and stabbed with knives. Such scenes hurt the reputation of a city, but Seattle herself is guiltless here. No city in the UCAS to-day is more essentially democratic in spirit and none has higher ideals of municipal life. When such a city is suddenly divided against itself and made the battleground of two armies fighting to the death, the condition requires an explanation and a remedy."
"Are you saying that neither side even started out by negotiating on this?"
"Let us say that there were clauses in the current contracts between the management and labor. The first clause provided that if one party desired to change the provisions of the existing contract he must present his proposal to a joint meeting not later than November 1st. The second clause provided for the arbitration of all disputes."
"Well that sounds reasonable, so what went wrong?"
"This is what happened. It could not be proved, of course, and perhaps it would not be fair to say that the KD&A management desired a strike last fall, but it can easily be shown that they did everything likely to bring one about. Early in October, when their contracts with the unions still had five months to run, some of these managers began discharging union employees from the Skagit facility and began hiring non-union men to take their places. Of course, the union immediately applied for a conference on this, but it was refused them, as was also a conference on the terms of a renewal contract, due before November 1st. The negotiations dragged on for weeks, and all the time more managers were "opening" their divisions by hiring nonunion help. At last, on November 17th, a committee of the union, authorized only to deal with these grievances, succeeded in obtaining an audience with a committee of City Officials and KD&A. In reply to the protestors and Union's statement, the management committee cited grievances of its own, and the union committee at once offered to submit the whole case to arbitration. The management, instead of replying to this offer, asked that the committee proceed to arrange new agreements with their association, more elastic than the old. The union men very properly replied that they had authority to confer only on the present grievances, but offered to arrange with their union for a conference on the preparation of new agreements. The reply of the management was not an acceptance of this offer, but the statement that a new agreement must be made at once or they would be compelled to "open" their facility to non Union representation only. A heated discussion followed and the conference was broken off with affairs in this unsettled state."
"It certainly sounds like KD&A were pushing this but in a statement last week Mayor Krass responded that the Union workers were filled with eco-protestors trying to sabotage the plant. He stated that in the interest of Security that KD&A had decided not to renew the contracts and had made workers at the plant follow the same regulations as was necessary for critical city employees, for the public interest."
"The only weapon the strikers have left is violence, for under present conditions a peaceful and successful strike is an impossibility. As some one said recently, "What are they going to do? Say to the employer, 'I don't like the way you're treating me, so I'm going home and sit on the front steps. When you want me to come back just drop me a postal' ?"
"While there are in all our cities so many non-heroic, non-professional management strike-breakers lounging on every street corner ready to die for unlimited beer, the striker, whether his cause is just or unjust, must be prepared to say to them, "See here! If you try to take our jobs while we're looking for a square deal we'll just break your heads." Intimidation is the only argument that appeals to a certain class of minds."
"Yet nothing hurts the cause of the striker with the public more than violence, and public sympathy says the last word in a strike. The KD&A managers understood that thoroughly, and it gave the strikers every opportunity to injure themselves. From the start it marched its supply vehicles in long trains with plenty of heavy weapons and protection. Of course the claim was that protection could be given more easily to a group of vehicles than to the same number singly. But this formation was the very one most calculated to cause violence, since it was the most conspicuous and also the most likely to cause blockades, with their attendant dangers."
"The strikers claimed that this was done expressly to incite such violence as would necessitate the calling in of troops, and they pointed out one very concrete instance. On the morning of May 5th, Lone Star Captain Barrett telephoned the strikers' headquarters, asking that any men who desired to be sworn in as deputy sheriffs should come to his office between three and four that afternoon. As the strikers had long been requesting this, a number of them responded. When they approached City Hall at the hour named they met a train of some ten vehicles of the KD&A Managers Association loaded to their limit with orc, troll and dwarf strike-breakers. When the strikers entered Captain Barrett's office he refused to swear them in. They returned to their quarters without violence, but full of very evil suspicions."
By such methods as these the KD&A management drove the strikers relentlessly from ditch to ditch. At any time the union would have snatched at a merely nominal compromise for the sake of peace, but the Managers Association would offer no terms save unconditional surrender, and the strikers had grown too desperate for that. One thing you can be sure of is that this trouble is going to get worse before it gets better because when KD&A is involved the word is 'Hardball', they won't be taking half measures on any of this. I pity anyone who gets in their way, they'll probably make road-kill look good."
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Post by Pelch Gobwit on Jul 22, 2007 5:58:11 GMT -5
In the news fax's today this Breaking story:
Barbie a Total Whore, Claims Ken
Seattle, WA. - Famous female icon Barbie has been slammed in a book by ex-boyfriend Ken, who describes the celebrity as "a total whore." Ken also reveals that the celebrity has had plastic surgery at various times. In a leaked chapter of the book, Ken goes so far as to claim "as many already suspect, they are not real."
Barbie's agent would not respond to Ken's allegations but instead dismissed the jilted lover's problematic lifestyle and drug habits. Ken's recent troubles include a string of arrests and minor criminal charges, allegations of stalking and a conviction for drug possession late last year.
Ken told reporters this week that he had been sober for months now and describes his book Kenfessions: The Nightmare Truth Behind the Malibu Dream House as a soul searching quest to set the record straight.
"I see now that I must honestly confront parts of my past that have been unsavory. The chapter in which I describe how I found Barbie in bed with three midgets, a gazelle, Devlin Krass and a can of maple syrup was very painful to write, personally, but is part of the healing process. Writing about it and publishing it in memoir form helped me grow and move forward."
Mayor Krass was asked to comment on this. In his latest statement he told us, "Poor deluded Ken has it all wrong between Barbie and I. Let me set the record straight. According to Ken he found Barbie in bed with me, three midgets, a gazelle, and a can of maple syrup. That is totally wrong as anyone can plainly tell. I don't have a bed BIG enough to fit all that. We did it on the floor in a Bigfoot skin rug. Also he never even mentioned the Inflatable Ingrid, the 4 hp motor, the Giant Suc-O-Lux, a Giant Parrot, and the olympic size trampoline. Still, I can understand that, he was on dream chips at the time."
Fox news broke the story that the pair broke up amicably in February 2058, in a scoop that shocked America.
Barbie and Ken's respective publicists both described the breakup as a "sad" and "reflective" day for the world.
Barbie later told Barbara Walters that Ken was stifling her with "like, all these expectations of monogamy. Ken just couldn't cope with the fact my career always, like, over-shadowed his. He'd get insanely jealous and put on Lionel Ritchie albums. He can be, like, really scary sometimes."
The acrimony between the feuding couple got ugly late last year after Barbie linked former lover Ken to numerous off-screen affairs with 80s action-figures, including He-Man and Man-At-Arms.
"That drek eating slitch!" responded the president of the North-American Masters of the Universe Fan Club, Scott Jones. "Those were like my only drekin' heroes when I was growing up! There's another childhood memory wrecked."
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Post by Pelch Gobwit on Jul 22, 2007 22:47:33 GMT -5
Today on KPOW News:
Faced with falling prices for domestic wine, a group of French vintners has made terroristic threats against the government and retailers who carry imports. The guerrilla gang, wearing black ski masks, released a video in May (so far ignored by the Seattle and UCAS government), reminding officials about recent incidents in which small explosives were detonated in supermarkets that carry imported wines and in which a tractor-trailer carrying imported wine had been shot at. Said one hooded protester, "Blood will flow" if prices don't soon rise.
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Post by Pelch Gobwit on Jul 24, 2007 6:09:04 GMT -5
Today on KOMA, The Seattle News:
Ten thousand members of the notorius Rainbow Clan are meeting in Central Yakima Forest. Rolling Stone magazine reports: "Everybody is smoking humongous bowls of weed, playing guitars, giving each other full-body massages.'' So far there have been 16 arrests, mostly for drunkenness and nudity. The group has vowed to make a march on the newly erected Skagit Nuclear Facility. We will keep you updated on events as they happen.
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Post by wolflet59 on Jul 25, 2007 6:57:11 GMT -5
Freddy walks into a fearsome BB rather than the mild-mannered hacker he had expected..
with the noos that Pelch and Mao were out on a job - and he was still working for Widow set him up all curious.. so while they went through the detailed scan, he posed a few teasers of his own..
Pelch is alive, good to know he is a survivor - we need to make sure everyone checks in regular like in the future - Regarding Widow, she mentioned that she may well be ducking out, so I step in as 2IC to acting command. Like I say we need to run on information rather than speculation. If the only remaining duo are employed, then we need to recruit again..
Yes I agree with you,as a working group we have been too lax We, not you - so, Sorry BB for leaving you with all of the crap to deal with - that will have to change.
with the brief rundown of Moose and Mao - inside the white noise generator, even without being security concious, Freddy was puzzled..
Why go through so much effort to actually do it rather than just seeing if it can be done.. who are we working for BB? I was working directly for Dom to start.
Now that we are reasonably settled I did want to see if magic can pass the tight security here..
Freddy assenses BB, then carefully scans her retina and dna patterns, casting aPhysical Mask so he looks sounds and should check out as her..
sorcery 6 die snake +2 snig +2pool +6 16 dice total got x2 6s then a 5 and a 6 =11 12
Drain 8die no probs
Freddy assumes the shape and form of BB, then uses the retina scanner fingerprints and a mouth swab please confirm voice ID retina scan confirm BB fingerprints confirmBB dna check BB voice recognition correct - welcome BB
we need to up the security BB, If I can do it, others can.
Freddy fades back from BB to hmself.. She is understandably shocked at seeing herself, and seeing herself being allowed access to.. well everything.
two sweetners? It's nice to see you BB - I'm sorry everything has been so, um, disjointed and unprofessional, we will sort that out straight off.
lets get down to biz.. the attack on Dom needs looking into - we'll need Star reports, no doubt others have looked at the site too - be nice to see what they've come up with.. might link it to the Insect mercs. Pelch and Mao theyre doing thigns - fine It would be good to get a snatch squad together too for a potential venture south of the border let alone a few people to fill in the gaping holes left by, erm , us.
two scans for anyone coming in as well - there wont be many mages with skillwires either, so get me to jack in a chip..
This should be an opposed test against a guard - generally Freddy's number of successes vs their Int or Will against their Int /Will against the spell Force of 5.
up against a machine he just has to beat the programming level bit like trying to open a maglock. See 'Game Mechanics How It Works..' Max programming levels for nuclear silos tend to be at 10... plus a few extra security checks.. the Tomato ID scanner should be around 10 - there is no tampering involved .. Freddy luckily made it with a high roll. Only one success was needed.
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Post by Pelch Gobwit on Jul 29, 2007 5:10:33 GMT -5
OOC: Pelch, "The continuing story of Freddy and BB has been forwarded to the Room Six area to leave this area open for continued History development."
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Post by Pelch Gobwit on Jul 29, 2007 5:34:48 GMT -5
Today's news on local holo station KOMA shows a picture of a new magician's shop called the Snake Oil Shop in the process of opening up.
A young magician is standing outside shaking his fist at the shop and yelling angrily. The reporter goes up to him and asks why he is doing so much yelling.
Angry, wimpy looking guy dressed in over done magical robes, featuring a stylized version of 'RAT' speaks in a nasally, squeaky and whiny voice.
"Here I am visiting Seattle for the first time, and I walked into this small store. I noticed a small bronze statue of a rat for sale. I talked to the owner, called 'Meg' and asked, "How much?", and the owner replies "1,500 NU-Yen for the bronze rat, and 10,000 Nu-Yen for the story behind it".
"I says, "Forget the story", and bought the rat."
"As I'm walking down the street I suddenly noticed two LARGE devil rats following me. They looked real hungry. As I continued to walk, more and more and more devil rats start following me."
"I was getting concerned, these things were looking at me like I was food. I headed for the waterfront. By the time I got there; there are thousands and thousands of rats following me."
"I ran up to the end of the pier and threw myself into the bay, and the rats all followed me and leaped off of the pier and started to drown. I lost the bronze rat while I was swimming in all the sludge but managed to make it up on Pier 73."
So I rushed back to the store and walked in. The owner says, "Ah!, so your back for the story".
Reporter, " A harrowing story indeed. I think I would be a bit put out by all that as well. So what's the story?"
The guys looks at the reporter like he is Brain-dead, "NO NO NO! You don't understand! I didn't buy the fragging story, you moron! I was wondering if this shop had any bronze lawyers but the owner was 'Sold OUT!"
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Post by Pelch Gobwit on Aug 19, 2007 2:57:42 GMT -5
Today on KONG:
Seattle neurologist Ronilion recently wrote in the scientific journal 'The Lancet' describing his surprise in finding, via brain scans, that a normally functioning 44-year-old man had a brain "more than fifty percent to seventy-five percent" smaller than average, consisting of little more than a thin sheet of brain material surrounding a large fluid buildup. The subject was employed as a Seattle government bureaucrat.
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Post by Pelch Gobwit on Aug 19, 2007 3:04:40 GMT -5
Today on KOMA:
A burglar was killed trying to sneak into the KD&A CEO offices on May 31; Lone Star police said the man had crawled between the blades of a large, idle ventilation fan but that before getting all the way through, he accidentally tripped the maintenance "on" switch installed in the shaft. Eon stated that the cleanup would be a minor chore.
OOC: Pelch, "Note to self. Remember that Eon has booby trapped the ventalation fans."
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Post by Braddoc on Aug 19, 2007 15:08:25 GMT -5
The place seems like it got bombed a while back.. amateurs, judging from what little he caught on the news, some eco jerk charged in with a truck. So much a stupid plan, it deserved to fail.
Few customers were inside, a bombing does tend to make people go elsewhere, but they were always a few who were hardcore bent into going somewhere, even if they risk to get caught in a bomb blast.
Four-Eyes decided to go with suit and tie, question of blending in, and well..meeting a Johnson you decided to skip, might as well look presentable.
At least the guy at the gun booth didn't bug him about his piece, he just looked on the wall inside his box and simply nodded back at him. They had a picture list to know who's not stupid to wave a gun in here or what? He stopped caring a few steps inside, after what he done for this place, might as well get some perks out of it.
Jecktender was busy whit some customer at the other end of the bar. Oh yes, he surely seems to have a good time. Time to make him surprised. He took out a credstick, simply began tapping it on the counter every second or so. The guy was still talking, not really caring, if he were in his shoes, he wouldn't care too, but meh..after calling the goon squad after him, he deserved some minor nuisance. And a kick in the face, lucky him Four-Eyes legs didn't go that high.
He finally decided to come and meet him. His expression what fun to watch, mix of surprise and just a tad of panic. He got the better of him quick, going for a cold tap and walking toward him like it was routine. Dumbass.
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Post by Pelch Gobwit on Aug 20, 2007 23:57:13 GMT -5
100 mayors = Not 1 decision
Four Eyes walked calmly toward the bar as the latest KOMA news flash hit the scene:
Hatchet Faced Harridan, having gone through about a million and a half plastic surgeries and looking like drek says snidely, "They Were Going To The Drive In? A woman in Bremen, in northern Germany, was looking out of her apartment window when she saw a small boy climb into the trunk of a car. . . another guy shut the lid on him. . . and then, the car sped off."
Scene shows a white Mercedes/Nissan speeding away.
"She panicked, and called the cops to report the kidnapping. And they responded bigtime. . . they set up road blocks all over the city and sent out their entire fleet to look for the car. Finally, they saw the car and swarmed on it. And that's when they found out it wasn't a kidnapping. . . the "small boy" in the trunk was actually 27-year-old Klaus "Shorty" Mueller. . . Germany's finest DWARF MECHANIC. He was in the trunk because there were some strange rattling sounds coming from that area when the car was on the road. . . so he was diagnosing the problem from the inside."
Shows picture of a dwarf in mechanics overalls.
"Apparently, Klaus is pretty well-respected in the German auto industry. . . and he gets calls all the time to squeeze himself into small spots to diagnose car problems."
Coldswell gave him the old 'stink eye' as he approached the bar. "You got a lot of nerve showing your face around here." He growled. "Your Johnson ain't too fragging happy with you. He's in the back room waiting on your sorry hoop." He turned away in disgust.
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Post by Braddoc on Aug 21, 2007 4:58:06 GMT -5
"No shit Sherlock? How do you think I feel after you call your goons on me..a simple call would have been less troublesome for you..or is that too complicated for a bartender?" But the guy wasn't even listening anymore..Probably hates the fact that I actually showed up here instead of hiding in a hole, like he was expecting..like..well anyone with some common sense would Four-Eyes supposed.
He made his way to the back room, where a security guard was waiting "I'm sorry sir, I'll have to search you and confiscate your weapons before you can proceed" Four-eyes opened up his jacket, showing his Deputy's stock. The guard took it, all professional-like "Thank you sir, but I'll still have to search you." He sighed and raised his arms. The guy 'found' (like it was hard to miss the way he was tapping) his Taurus, but didn't noticed his knife. Patting like he way , it probably felt like a credstick, the keys and the lighter did help to hide it's already small size.
The guard did looked happy to have found another gun, like four-eyes had plans to go on a killing spree...He would have brought a spitgun instead of a double-action, but that was him. "You may proceed sir. I will hold onto your firearms."
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Post by Pelch Gobwit on Aug 21, 2007 6:35:53 GMT -5
OOC: Pelch: "heh, heh ,heh."
The guard smiled slightly as Four Eyes moved into the room to see the Johnson, just as he almost went past he said in a low voice, "I'm letting you keep the knife, since the back-up or Security will probably turn you into swiss cheese if you try to use it. Let's try to keep this a friendly meeting." The Security Goon silently closed the door as he went out and took up a position to keep the room private. Four Eyes could appreciate the professionalism.
Four Eyes had pretended not to hear the warning but his eyes narrowed slightly. This little message meant that he had either been silently scanned or a mage had looked at him. He had seen neither. It would pay to be cautious and possibly as honest as possible.
The Johnson was Spanish and had greased down hair and a soft, indulgent look about him. The bodyguard with him was a joke. Some gutter punk who kept glancing around nervously. It was obvious that the guard had been a cheap hire. Still any suit was dangerous.
The Johnson spoke, "Mr. Four Eyes?" He waited a moment then continued. "You took my money and didn't perform your designated task. Now MY principle is very dissatisfied with you. Perhaps you would like to offer the usual excuses? I warn you. I dislike excuse makers."
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Post by Braddoc on Aug 21, 2007 7:18:12 GMT -5
Damn sec-guard and his invisible back-up..'seems like no one knows about me in here..oh well 'might work out for me.
Four-Eyes entered the room. He didn't know if he should laugh at the obvious newbie goon, or just point out to the Johnson that he might be available for hire if he needed someone to watch his back...but since he was here to make amends, he kept that idea for later.
"Mr. Four Eyes?" well at least he seemed to be the kind who actual can change his mind. "Mr. Johnson." "You took my money and didn't perform your designated task. Now MY principle is very dissatisfied with you. Perhaps you would like to offer the usual excuses? I warn you. I dislike excuse makers."
Four-Eyes smiled weakly "Mr Johnson, if I wanted to make excuses, I would have waited for those goons from the collection agency to fish me out of whatever hole I would be hiding in. No, I know I did not complete the job. It is bad for your work, and damaging for whatever reputation I got in this district. I decided to meet you so we can settle this face to face rather than using 'outside' help." He eyed the goon from the shadow his sunglasses offered. He could be able to take his out, if he tried anything stupid that is.
"As per the agreement, the job paid 5000 Nuyen, with 2000 in advance. I am willing to refund the 5000 Nuyen payment, along side a 50% interest fund, for whatever problems my lack of dedication might have brought upon you."
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