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Post by Pelch Gobwit on Jul 29, 2007 5:45:51 GMT -5
Did they include the Pro Krasstinator 2007 with built in vibrator, adjustable size, and turbo? If they didn't then it's not the REAL thing.
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nekekami
Chummer
I have made 77 posts
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Post by nekekami on Jul 29, 2007 6:27:06 GMT -5
the included: Penile Implant: Essence: 0,25 Capacity: 1 Availability: 5 Cost: 3000 sounds about right neh? O.o
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nekekami
Chummer
I have made 77 posts
Location:
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Post by nekekami on Jul 29, 2007 17:21:53 GMT -5
Penile Implant modular tech used on (fore)arm hand/arm replacement Jackhammer . . combine at risk of san-loss x.x . .
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Post by krondax on Aug 1, 2007 12:50:31 GMT -5
.......... dear lord. i dont thin kthat i will be able to visit the previous page. GET WELL PELCH!@!!!
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Post by The Great Krass on Aug 26, 2007 1:29:28 GMT -5
OOC: Eon, "I'm having to study a lot of history lately for my exams. It's all trivia like; Albert Einstein's birthday was March 14. He would now be 127. Few people remember that the Nobel Prize winner married his cousin, Elsa Lowenthal, after his first marriage dissolved in 1919. It's really boring and hard to get all this straight when I'll probably forget it 6 months down the road!"
OOC: Drassel, "Liven it up with some interesting theories. My bet is that most teachers probably won't even catch it. I used to do that on a lot of my law dissertations. For instance you could add; I heard that he later stated that he was attracted to Elsa because she was well endowed. He postulated that if you are attracted to women with large breasts, the attraction is stronger if there is a DNA connection."
OOC: Krass, "This came to be known as Einstein's Theory of Relative Titty."
OOC: Eon, "I really hate you."
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Post by Pelch Gobwit on Jun 4, 2008 6:42:25 GMT -5
OOC: Pelch, "Since it appears guests can't post anymore Krass decided to send you guys a 'Welcome Back' present. He strongly hinted that Krondax should read this carefully. The background? The Retro's were discussing how to enjoy their Holiday this year. This was Krass's, ERM, contribution?"
OOC: Krass, “You people have no imagination. Let me tell you of a few places I think we should spend our vacation. Did you know, as with all things, whorehouses must adapt and change with the times? Prostitutes must become better, stronger and more resistant to disease. As such, some brothels have endeavored to offer their clientele something more than just a stained mattress and a glassy-eyed companion. Many, in fact, go above and beyond to make your whoring experience downright magical.”
Big Sister:
Despite the potentially creepy incestuous nature of the name, it's actually a play on Big Brother, which is to say this Prague brothel is under video surveillance at all times. The good news is if you feel like dipping your wick in the muddied waters of a Czech prostitute at this establishment you can pretty much do it for free. The bad news?
It's free because the dirty, dirty nookie is subsidized by all the people who will be watching you at home on their computers. That's what the cameras are for. So while performing the act, try not to think of the thousands of subscribers, their sweaty buttocks irreparably staining their swivel chairs and their greasy, Cheetos-dusted fingers gumming up their keyboards, occasionally pausing to make a screen cap of you mid-coitus to save as their desktop wallpaper. On the up side if you feel like you can make it in the Seattle porn industry this place is a winner for fresh talent.
Bordels Mobiles de Campagne:
If one word is synonymous with the French, it's whores. Ask anyone from Europe or every province in Canada except Quebec. I think Eon is from here. It's only natural then that, during times of strife, say a war, the French aren't about to give up their whoring just to save their own asses. During the first and second World Wars as well as the Algerian War and the Indochina war, mobile whorehouses, basically just large trailer trucks with about 10 whores per truck, were set up to service French soldiers who couldn't take time away from being shot at to go back to a town and find an old fashioned brothel. According to our friends on Wikipedia, these were officially organized by the army, meaning at some point in time, someone in the French military basically held the rank of pimp, which is probably the coolest thing anyone in the French military has ever done. The approach to whoring was so popular, there are still traveling whore vans that roam the French countryside today offering up illicit services that you barely have to get off your ass to receive. We're not about to make any jokes at the expense of the French military fighting prowess or their skills at achieving victory and not surrendering, but if we were, we'd make them in such a way as to suggest a whole army of Frenchmen were apparently too busy getting the clap to bother saving their own asses from, say, the Nazis. Not that the clap isn't wonderful, it's just that much sweeter if you can get it during peace time.
Bunny Ranch:
Cornering any market is difficult, even when you're a whorehouse owner selling moderately well-used ass. You need to do something to stand out from the crowd. The owner of the Bunny Ranch, apparently sick of competing with all those other brothels in Nevada, tore a page out of the infomercial guide to selling, and began to offer special deals. Like the first 50 servicemen to come to his brothel after coming home from Iraq would get free tang and for the next 50 days, it was half off for all the rest. Nothing says patriotism quite like discount sex with a stranger. Finding that this is a reasonable method of advertising, he'd also run holiday specials, like free debauchery for 200 serviceman over Thanksgiving (bring your own "stuffing" jokes). We're hoping this Independence Day they have a special discount coupon for Mayors from Seattle.
Soapland:
Not a specific brothel, rather a whole brothel industry in Japan, Soaplands can be found in any red light district and, oddly enough, offer what the name suggests. If you're feeling dirty in more than one way you can go in and get lathered up by a prostitute. This type of service can cost as much as $1,000 so presumably you want to really roll around in some mud beforehand to make it worthwhile. The gist of the service is you get washed from head to toe while you sit in a special chair that lets your bits hang free so they can get a good grip on them. According to Wikipedia, round two of the fun happens when your new friend for hire greases up her whole body and then just rubs herself all over your squeaky clean hide, which we imagine creates an effect something like trying to hug a fresh caught bass whilst naked. After all this occurs, if you're not too bored or sleepy, apparently you can then engage in sex and, because you paid for a good washing and slip n' slide session it technically no longer fits Japan's definition of prostitution. In fact, based on what we know of Japan, it probably doesn't fit their definition of remotely kinky.
Pascha:
Germans apparently love whoring on an epic scale. So much so that the city of Cologne is home to the Pascha brothel, a 12-story, 27,000-square-foot tower that houses 120 prostitutes and services as many as 1,000 customers a day. This is what happens when whorehouses take on a McDonald's service attitude. It's not fast poon, it's good poon fast! The Pascha was basically created so the local government could keep all of its prostitutes in one clean, easy to track place. Women are rented rooms for 180 euros a day which includes meals and a German booty tax. One floor is for low-cost fun, another is for transsexuals and we assume one is for shizer video production. It also features a hotel, several bars and a pizza delivery service which, honestly, has us clicking around for plane tickets. Again following the fast food model of business, Pascha features a money back guarantee if you're not satisfied which makes us wonder if you have to take the unused portion of your lady to the front desk so you can get a refund. And lest you think it stops there, customers over the age of 65 get half-price afternoons. It can't make the senior's coffee at McDonald's taste any better to American geriatrics, knowing the men they fought on the beaches of Normandy get half-price handjobs for their 65th birthday.
Daily Planet:
Located in Melbourne, Australia, the Daily Planet brothel not only has an awesome name (probably designed so you can make lame Superman jokes while banging a prostitute) but it became the first brothel ever to be traded on the stock exchange back in 2003. Claiming annual profits of about $2 million in Aussie money, which we assume is still probably a decent amount of cash, this seems like a winner to have on any investment portfolio. The brothel has won Australian Adult Industry Awards, something we assume was made up by the brothel itself, and features not just sex for money, but pinball, pool tables and a friggin' jukebox. It's like the best arcade ever. And if the itch in your crotch isn't enough to help you remember your visit, you can also check out the gift shop and pick up a nice Daily Planet mouse pad. Won't everyone at work be impressed when you're surfing porn using the mouse pad you picked up at a whorehouse? So here’s your chance to visit Lois’s Lane? Better yet, if you liked your visit and plan to return, you can join the Platinum Club which gives you a keychain and pen as well as a membership card. They should have had this at the Bunny. Visit 9 times and your 10th is free. It's just like those Subway club cards, only this one you don't want falling out of your wallet while showing off the new baby pictures to your mom."
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Post by Braddoc on Jun 4, 2008 7:06:17 GMT -5
Huh..even after all this time, He's still an idiot.
and the guests will be abel to post, but not right now, after we're done moving I suppose..
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Post by Pelch Gobwit on Jun 4, 2008 23:43:35 GMT -5
OOC: Pelch, "You thought he had changed? Silly thought. The question I had though was how does he come up with this stuff? Either he had first hand experience of those Brothels or he did a lot of research. Knowing Krass, I suspect he has visited. He seemed to know an awful lot about how they operate. Fatman did ask him though about how he expected to include Eon in the Holiday. Krass's answer did not make Eon happy. I decided not to include that part of the conversation for obvious reasons."
Anyone want to guess from the following hint what they are up to now?
Krass to Drassel, “Any danger these actors will talk to the media about the script, or the town we built from scratch, or any of this phony stuff?”
Drassel, “By their very nature and profession, actors have problems distinguishing what’s real from what’s make-believe. Most of them think they’re in a play or a movie all the time anyway. The rest we’ve paid off. So relax.”
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Post by Braddoc on Jun 5, 2008 5:46:53 GMT -5
Meh, half and half I'd reckon..from what I see from the 2 minutes research, seems like copy/pasting to me
And what are they up to?..Trouble..or some sort of get more richer quick gimmic..
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Post by Crimson D on Jun 6, 2008 4:30:04 GMT -5
Krass you get a A+ for your report.
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Post by Pelch Gobwit on Jun 6, 2008 9:29:47 GMT -5
OOC: Pelch, "Well Braddoc, I asked them myself but they wouldn't tell me. They said I should figure it out. I was looking at the clues. Actors, scripts and a phony town that requires some bribery. What they are doing has to be illegal. In SR that makes it pretty standard. I considered some type of heist. You know the old truck goes through a set-up town that disappears later but too many mouths. Someone is likely to spill the beans afterward. To little gain for such a large expense. I considered some type of fraud scheme. Maybe something along the lines of 'The Sting'. But the payoff?"
"Now according to the Retros we know enough about them that we should be able to figure it out. Knowing what I know, I know they would not start something like this for a one shot, short term deal! This has to be something that lasts a long time and brings in lots of profit. So I still go with a fraud angle but I have no clue beyond this as to what the payoff is. That's as far as I have taken it so far."
"So any ideas? By the way Krass says he has visited each of those places but he did do copy and paste to save time. Typing all that on a server takes time so he prepares it in advance. Then just copies and pastes to save time. Most of the Retros do this." So if CrimsonD decides to visit he can give us an updated report.
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Post by Braddoc on Jun 6, 2008 9:40:25 GMT -5
Well, if he said he visited, only got his word going for that..oh well, no matter.
'Gues they're pulling a The Sting 1 large scale than a The Sting 2..what for?..Well could be anything really..Heh..I'll think of somehting later..
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Post by Pelch Gobwit on Jun 12, 2008 1:10:00 GMT -5
OOC: Pelch, "ERM Krass..... Lying...... they do seem to go together. Would you buy a used handgun from that joker? As for what the Retro's are doing? I'll take the easy way out and wait and see."
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Post by Crimson D on Jun 14, 2008 23:27:55 GMT -5
It may not be entertaining or even enlightening but I would like to see random log snips of a retro's game. My thinking isn't to look for gold but to catch these guys at their worst. The way I see it is all of our logs are on the site. Are the retro's too good to give us a log or even a small peace of one?
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Post by Pelch Gobwit on Jun 17, 2008 23:34:59 GMT -5
OOC: Pelch, "Not to be completely rude about the whole thing, but I need to make this very clear. The Fatman gives us what he wants to give us. We have no call on their services. If they do not wish to share their logs for their own reasons we must respect that desire."
"Mr. J. has stated, early on, the Retros are our GUESTS. They are under no obligation to give us anything at all. They are under no obligation to perform, help or satisfy our curiosity. We can make the request to the Fatman but he has the rights of final decision and we do not argue with him about it. His game, his decision. While it is well known from this thread that Krass does take liberties in posting things from the Retros, it is the Fatman that makes the final decisions in his game. Krass has gotten into trouble before by posting things out here and in the Quotefile that the Fatman would NOT like to see posted. Fatman has the logs and history files. On occasion if it suits his purpose in his history he will occasionally release information about his history and storyline, cleaned up to us, for our games. It is MORE than he has to do so let's show some gratitude. He doesn't have to give us anything."
"I also would like to take the opportunity to point out that they have been pretty supportive to this site and to my room six game and that they have made their deal with Mr. J. before they even came here. The dividing line is very clear. So when you ask if they are too good to do something, I feel the need to remind you that they don't HAVE to do anything. You will note that the Retro's have gone more underground in the past couple of years. Believe me, they have their reasons for doing so. So I suggest we all remember that they are our guests and let's treat our guests with respect and not demands. That includes guests who are not Retros as well. While we may make REQUESTS, we cannot demand anything of our guests and it is certainly bad manners to demand of your guests services by insulting them."
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