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Post by Pelch Gobwit on Jul 1, 2007 23:58:34 GMT -5
So I spent the weekend going to school learning how to be a janitor and Drekroom cleaner in a state of the art nuclear FUSION plant. It was not what I would call a fun time had by all, mainly me. I did learn a lot though, understand.. No, learn.. Yes. Like a fraggin parrot I can repeat back all kinds of drek. BB had me briefing Mao 'Eon the Terrible' Hatmolester. "Do you know how this plant works?" I asked Mao. It appeared he didn't. If you're going to put the big sabotage on a plant you HAVE to fragging know how it works and where to plant your little 'boom' so that it can turn into a big "BOOM!" mostly when you are safely not anywhere in said area.
I explained to Mao, "The first Nuclear Fusion plant was conceive, not BUILT, in June 2005 in France. Yep that France. Scary huh? An experimental nuclear fusion plant that mimics the way the Sun generates energy. The project then hoped to turn seawater into fuel by harnessing the energy released when atomic nuclei are forced together. This is the opposite of what happens in existing nuclear power plants, where nuclei are split apart. So what's that mean? You sure can't buy the spare parts for this reactor on the market. You ain't enriching no URANIUM, and you sure as frag don't make it work the way most plants operate. Sometimes that scientist Ronilion is pretty fragging smart. You can't use a normal method to mess this plant over."
"Nuclear fusion has been the Holy Grail for scientists trying to find a viable alternative to the world's depleting stocks of oil and gas and this quest to find a cheap and inexhaustible way to meet global energy needs comes after months of wrangling among scientists, politicians and the ecology crew."
"France originally defeated a bid from Japan and signed a deal to site the 10 billion euro (about $15 billion, NuYen at that time) experimental reactor in Cadarache, near Marseille. "We are making scientific history," Dr Janez Potocnik, the EU's Science and Research Commissioner, said in Moscow, where the partners in the International Thermonuclear Experimental Reactor (ITER) project were meeting."
"Its backers said the fusion reactor would be cleaner than existing nuclear reactors, as nuclear fusion produces no greenhouse gas emissions and low levels of radioactive waste but as usual critics at the time argued it could have been at least fifty years before a commercially viable reactor could be built, if at all. It wasn't even going to be a commercial model but an experimental one. It never got built. The eco-terrorists raised such a nuclear scare after Chernobyl, (a totally different kind of plant, but nuclear is nuclear) that it never got finished. Little did anyone really know that after decades of research before 2005 Scientists had ALREADY harnessed energy from fusion in laboratories but they had been unable to build a commercially viable reactor, despite decades of research. Due in large part to the eco-scare-terrorists I had previously mentioned. They had taken the view, if it's nuclear it must be BAD!"
"Now Krass's experimental nuclear fusion reactor was built right here, at Skagit, near Seattle, right on the UCAS border. Bet that is making a few political friends, heh? The five hundred megawatt ITER reactor uses deuterium, extracted from seawater, as its major fuel and a giant electromagnetic ring to fuse atomic nuclei at extremely high temperatures. One of the biggest challenges was to build a reactor that can sustain temperatures of about one hundred million degrees Celsius for long enough to generate power."
"I give it a 50:50 chance of success but the engineering is very difficult," says Professor Ian Fells of the UK's Royal Academy of Engineering "If Krass can really make this work though there will be enough electricity to last the WORLD for the next 1000 to 2000 years."
"Building the Krass reactor actually took about ten years, but some scientists thought it would take three times that long. The finance issues were staggering and it was no wonder Krass kept it quiet all this time. The open publicity would have caused problems he wasn't ready to face while building. Now he just laughs at the eco-goons. They may get the last laugh, yet."
"After the initial construction program, experimental power ups started around the middle of the last decade and have continue for some 20 years, testing ITER for technological feasibility, safety, health and waste management. That's where the plant is now. It's not commercially active yet They've been testing it. Doesn't sound like Krass, it almost sounds responsible, but I guess he figured it was his hoop if it didn't work too. He's right fragging next door, figuratively speaking."
"Anyway, environmental campaign group Greenpeace estimates that if the project yields results, it will not be until almost the end of this century. "At a time when it is universally recognized that we must reduce greenhouse gas emissions by 2150, Greenpeace considers it ridiculous to use resources and billions of NuYen on this project," it says. Krass reply was, "It's my fragging NuYen you stupid Ace-holes!" Those are the kinds of words that really build bridges, huh?"
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Post by Mao on Jul 4, 2007 23:50:25 GMT -5
Mao in the jail facility had gone the other route than his bald dwarf buddy went. Instead of getting to the top by getting his head beat in Mao instead just did his job and made sure that no one bothered him from doing just that. A few times the troll guards from time to time shoved him around alittle but he would take it unless they went to far and stopped him cleaning up the place.
One troll guard decided one day that he didn't like the way the speed in which Mao cleaned and decided to voice his concern. The only response the troll got though was unexpected.
"Find a mop and help clean the mess else shut yer trap while I'm doing my job. Go do yours and act like a good dumb sh~t and keep watch." All this time Mao kept cleaning the toilet. The inmate was in the bed reading...but he could clearly see that the troll was pissed. Worse yet he didn't see a reaction in the cleaner...which really spooked him since that meant the guy must be nuts...
The troll didn't like the response and walked right up to Mao and lifted him right off the ground with both arms. The troll was about to speak...but not before Mao threw something down his throat that had the troll choking...
Mao calmly picked up the rag and proceeded to work the toilet... "Seems like your breath stinks as much as this guy's sh~t. Might as well put in along with the rest of the garbage."
The dwarf inmate was shocked and couldn't believe what was happening...he put his fingers into his ears in preparation of the gunshots...Worse yet he just realized what Mao threw down the troll's mouth... Something that his stomach didn't agree with earlier from the lunch the place served...something called "Broccoli with cheese in chili suprise."
Mao only continued to work the toilet...the troll guards never bothered him again to such degree and the bosses like that style. NO questions asked and follows orders given to him by bosses.
Over the free weekend while his partner went on some course Mao went over material that BB had found for him. It seemed that this job required him to have a better understanding of demolitions than the basic that he had. He had learned the basics from Lonestar...but he wasn't a bomb disposal expert...to say the least...especially with jury-rigged bombs of different types and with the latest technology.
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Post by Pelch Gobwit on Jul 5, 2007 5:33:09 GMT -5
Pelch returned to the lair having studied intensively how to screw light bulbs into electrical sockets without bringing a facility to it's knees. Mao was kicked back on the lounge watching the holo, a beer in his mitts and a pleased smile on his face like he had just gotten done under the table by BB. She was sitting on the lounge near Mao sipping some kind of wine. {Another case of the Young and Stupid} thought Pelch, {Is Mao the equivalent, in Seattle, of Milton Berle or of Jesus? Inquiring minds want to know. All of my instincts tell me Mao is basically an irrelevant embarrassment, something you pay as much attention to as the idiotic propaganda on KONG. Am I just making the wrong type of friends, people who don't really represent today's view? Is Mao really venerated by today's younger generations? Or is the answer some complex equation that we hapless Dwarves can never hope to understand? NAH!}
Mao adjusted his hat, it had been freshly dry cleaned and re creased. "Now that Don's back I guess we better get back out to the facility. We're on probation now and we better not mess it up." He started out to the old battered up truck.
This was just too much! It was inhuman! It was UN fragging FAIR! I had to eat slop out at the facility all last week. I had to eat slop at the school while Mao got bear and coddled! Now I had to go back to Hell's Gate and do another week? It just wasn't RIGHT! BB smiled cheerfully and waved me Good Bye. I was going to get revenge if it was the last thing I ever did. I headed for the truck.
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Post by Mao on Jul 6, 2007 0:51:36 GMT -5
Mao and BB had a few drinks while discussing the next steps of the investigation and some "other stuff". Don came in just in time as they were wrapping up their conversations.
The drive back wasn't really eventful cept Mao wanted to spook the dwarf alittle again and get on more of his nerves. He purposely once again drove around recklessly and carefree rather than utilize any of his driving skills he had a natural talent for and refined under Lonestar. Mao just couldn't help but see this dwarf's reactions...the body language in all these cases seemed somewhat familiar...and once again especially BB's reaction to this dwarf...
Just as Mao parked the truck he pulled another trick and let one rip big time. Even amongst dwarf standards Mao could hold his own in belching/farting contests. The response he had was most interesting to say the least...
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Post by Pelch Gobwit on Jul 6, 2007 1:57:50 GMT -5
Mao's driving back out to the facility in the old battered truck was the worse yet. He must have had loving on his mind because every time we got to a tunnel or overhang his foot would hit the accelerator harder. One time he tore through a snow fence and through the weeds. The truck almost rolled but I just know he thought he was using his elite skills to keep us working. I of course was trying to brace myself in a human fragging truck which was about 2 sizes too large for it and hanging on for deer life. Under most conditions most dwarfs would seem immortal to these short lifers. This idiot was going to ruin that concept considerably. Then the moron makes this remark.
"You know you sure act a lot like my last partner."
"OH? You think he might have been trying to hang on for dear life when you drive? The fact that we both are reacting the same way, in panic reaction just trying to keep from getting tossed about might just mean that you are maybe being a little reckless and excessive trying to show off your driving skills? I remind you that I am a dwarf and HUMAN vehicles do not fit well with my race. Maybe if you were crammed in here with a troll or ork you would begin to understand what that might mean."
Mao shrugged and continued his campaign against life until we were almost parked in the facility. That is when, with a big drek eating smile he let one rip. I just knew it was from all that beer he drank. I could see out of the corner of his eye that he was waiting for my reaction. I didn't wish to disappoint the dear boy I reacted.
I pulled a big old brown stained and vile looking Cohibas Havana cigar from my upper pocket and a gold Rollstar lighter. I had not wasted my time while in school and had acquired several new items to console my spirit and make my incarceration more pleasant. The thing to remember about the true Cohibas cigar is that you will notice that the cellophane of genuine Cohibas is stained a light brown. These stains come from the oil in the leaf of tobacco with which the cigar has been wrapped. Only truly aged cigars leave such stains and all real Cohibas are definitely aged. Mao opened his mouth to protest when I lit up.
This may have been a mistake.
The air flamed yellowish red with a nice amount of blue. I was already hairless and my clothes were armored. Mao's hat once again deteriorated in value. The flame startled him and his foot rather than hitting the brake, found the petrol feed. The truck took the high road as it went sailing over the curb and through the fence. and whomped down face first into a large drainage ditch that surrounded the facility. My Cohibas, now alight. I bailed out shouting, "Woman and children first!" Mao was trying to beat out the smolders. As the guards came running and the sirens were going off because of the busted fence. I puffed on my cigar and watched them drag Mao out of the truck and start beating his butt with shock batons. The trolls were having such a fine time I gave them some advice. "Use more elbow. Be sure you get that toe well into his sacks of joy. Is that baton on high?"After all he WAS the driver. He should take some responsibility for his reckless negligence. I left Mao with his playmates. I didn't want to be late for work.
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Post by Pelch Gobwit on Jul 12, 2007 0:44:26 GMT -5
OOC: Pelch, "I see that Mao is still formulating his revenge. I'll bet he never expected me to do that. Maybe I need to put some more posting distance between him and me so I have a head start. With that in mind, off I go.
I danced into the facility to the up-beat and musical sounds of 'tappity-tap' and smells of roast pig while listening to the sizzling sound of Kung pao pork as Mao barbecued nicely on the turf. The guard trolls well into their task and working with a will weren't listening to any protests or explanations. I began to suspect that Mao might have angered one of the troll guards in his previous visit. It sounded like they were getting into a revenge mode. I guess the kid might learn that macho ain't always the way to go when dealing with guards. Sometimes you just had to endure.
I shrugged and went into my dressing area and changed into my work overalls. I made sure to leave everything else behind and I do mean everything! The next 30 minutes was spent going through searches and scans. Luckily they had scanners. There was no need for those messy body cavity searches. Unless they wanted one, of course, I suspected Mao was going to get one today. I wondered what it would be like to have a troll doing that to you. I shuddered, it had been bad enough when BB had done it to me several weeks back. I ALMOST felt sorry for Mao, but then I remembered the ride out and considered that lady luck could be a fickle mistress.
After the searches and with my badge pinned to my chest I joined the other low level workers in the bus. A short while later we were bumping up the road toward the unloading area. I noticed the four 'Grasshoppers' were still escorting us. The bus was not built with comfort in mind, nor was it air conditioned. It was going to be a hot dusty trip. Thankfully it was short one.
At the unloading point the 'newbies' were separated and marched off to the orientation center for their welcome. Poor sods, half of them probably wouldn't survive the week. The rest of us 'Probationary' low level drones were escorted into the administration building and separated into the various departments where we were going to work. Now you would have thought the security would have been a bit more relaxed. After all we had been through Orientation Week. Don't bet the farm on it. \
Probationary meant they didn't trust you. Probationary meant that they suspected you MIGHT be able to do your job and that you might be able to earn your pay. It didn't mean they had any fragging trust in you at all. It meant they watched you like a hawk. It meant when you got called out of the pool or department to work on something, a couple of guards and a supervisor went along to make sure you weren't leaving behind a bomb or a bug and that you did the job RIGHT the first time. When they sent me to fix a light switch I was almost glad I had spent the weekend at that school BB sent me too. It was Probationary was like being a 'Trusty" at the local UCAS prison. It was going to be another long week.
Let me expand on that a bit more. When I went to fix that useless switch, two guards with drawn weapons went right with me. If I had tripped or made a sudden movement they didn't like I probably would have been dead meat. They kept those guns out and ready until I rejoined the pool. The supervisor watched me replace the burnt switch and fix a piece of wiring that had caused the grief. He inspected it carefully and signed off on the work-order in his PDA before I replaced the cover. he didn't give me an 'atta-boy' or an 'aw-drek' and I guess that was the best I could expect.
I wondered how Mao was getting on.
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Post by Pelch Gobwit on Jul 16, 2007 5:49:07 GMT -5
OOC: Pelch, I have updated all character sheets except Pop's and Boombaby. They appear to have been removed. I assume they are no longer in play? Let me know if I am incorrect.
After my deal with the light switch my new boss had another job for me. I was supposed to go out to a place called Lil's Mini Mart & Truck Stop, pretend to be a go ganger with some of the other workers who would go with me and kick some eco-terrorist hoop. There was supposed to be an extra fiver NuYen in their for each of us. They got together about ten of the meanest dwarfs you ever saw, gave us a variety of head bashing weapons, horned helmets, and dirty leathers and sent us out on fragging 'Big Wheels tricycles'.
Pedaling those fragging things like a kid just made us all really angry when we got to the place. Typical management screw up or too cheap to give us real bikes? You tell me, it's a Krass facility. Me I vote for cheap and stupid. Anyway, we were all fragged off enough to be ready to kick hoop when we got there.
We wheeled into the joint and jandered inside. Our supposed leader was a guy called Metrus Hinny, we just called him Tiny-hiny for laughs. We ordered beer and lots of meat. We just knew it would frag off the eco-terrorists and we weren't wrong. There leader Tuff Buck came over to let us know he didn't like our style, our meat eating ways, our loud voices our clothes and to make fun of our trikes. Bad move on his part.
We were all over him like stink on drek. He was talking to Tiny when I got in behind him and hefted a fully charged shock stick into his sacks of joy. He folded like a wet newspaper. Tiny slammed his helmet into his face and the battle was on. Tables were flying. drinks were thrown. Ladies screamed and ran while the skanks who weren't ladies joined in the fun. Wimps tried to div under the tables and hide.
Now I ask you how does any wimp expect to hide under a table from a dwarf? It just made it easier to kick butt. Now the trick when fighting a tall one is don't get where they can kick you. You come at them from as many different directions as you can an work as a team. They're bigger sure but once you get a bunch in close they have to turn their backs to SOMEONE! We were making short work of them till one of the boys noted an advertisement on the old fashioned TV screen. Bikes! Real he-man BIKES! Just our size. We ripped off as much money as we could on the eco boys and girls we had pounded, stole their vehicles, loaded our Big Wheels in their cars and took them all down for trade in's. We just knew Krass would love it.
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Post by Pelch Gobwit on Jul 17, 2007 2:10:26 GMT -5
OK, after we ripped off the first group of eco-protesters we decided to hit a couple of more groups before the word got out. You see we had orders NOT to go back to the facility till next week so that the protesters wouldn't be able to say we were strike breakers. Our clothes and stuff were going to be sent to a location where we could pick them up. I had mine forwarded to the lair on Z Street.
At that point we made a quick sale of our acquired vehicles and goods and divided up the money. I went back to Z Street, sent the helmet and leathers, with the weapons back to Skagit by post, put on my stuff and went down to the Harley dealer. I 'borrowed' BB's KD&A card while she was asleep. I didn't want to wake the poor human up. She needed her beauty rest. I wanted the card so I could get the KD&A DISCOUNT, not because I was stealing her money. {I know that's what you were thinking so don't deny it}.
The salesman was on me like we had been on Tuff Buck, the moment I came through the door. "Good Morning Sir, " he stated even though it was late afternoon. I put it down to the fact that he looked like Mao. "Take a look at the pure, unmistakable icon of everything that’s right with an American custom motorcycle. It has the power to defy time and most everything else." He pointed to a bike that was about 20 sizes bigger than Bigfoot. What a tool.
I got straight to the point. "I'm interested in the Krass/Drassel MG 4 Midget Petite Harley." I told him. So what did the idiot do? He tried to get me to look at a Harley Sportster, which again had more drek on it than Krass's drekker. "Now take a look at this model, every firecracker fuse you've ever lit was just practice. Live wire performance with just enough flat-track soul, the Sportster® is an open invitation to take back the streets."
I'm a patient guy. I tried again. "I'm ONLY interested in the Krass/Drassel MG 4 Midget Petite Harley." Wouldn't you know the idiot didn't hear a word I said. "Now try this Dyna V, descended from the days of the first hardcore custom fanatics. It’s ground few dare to tread. Thick slices of steel and alloy served on top of a thunder-breathing V-Twin."
I head butted him in the nads. When he bent forward I grabbed his tie, breathed garlic pizza in his face and said, "Look idiot, I don't care how much bike snob talk you spout. I don't care whether the bike is 'Brujo' or 'quaint', or 'modest'. I want a Krass/Drassel MG 4 Midget Petite Harley because it's my FRAGGING SIZE. So are you going to sell me what I want or do I walk?"
He gasped as I let go of his tie. Nursing his sacks of joy he said, "Why didn't you say so?" Then he took me to the bikes I wanted. Sometimes you have to get their attention first, before they treat you like a person.
"Here it is, Sir, the Krass/Drassel MG 4 Midget Petite Harley, with a heavy suspension for fast turning. It stands only a foot and a half high but it has all the power of the best bikes. It has the 'Tornado' super power plant, two run flat puncture resistant tires, it's armored with 15 points of reflective armor Left, Right sides as well as front and rear. Acceleration without sidecar is 15 and it gets up to 180 mph in 6.4 seconds, with the sidecar it is slower with the acceleration being 10 with a top speed of 142.5 in 6.4 seconds. The side car has the same tire as the bike with 6 points of armor all around but it also has a hidden mini-rocket pod with five rockets that can be fired from either the bike or the sidecar. The cost for the total package with fees, tax, title and license is 14,094 NuYen."
I showed him my KD&A card. The discount brought the price down to a more reasonable 13,094 Nuyen after some haggling. Especially since I was paying NuYen on the barrel head so to speak. I had them deliver it to the Z Street facility. Paid my money, made my 'X' and had their clerks witness it and left. Now I only needed a license and I had to learn how to drive. I was almost home free.
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Post by Pelch Gobwit on Jul 18, 2007 3:19:40 GMT -5
OOC: Pelch, "Mao is vowing revenge behind the scenes but tells me he wants to see what I do with Pelch's driving skills. Snicker, what driving skills? First though, I have to get past the written test and I can't read. This should be fun."
Since the fine folks at Skagit had given me the rest of the week off for good behavior in delivering their gifts to the eco-goons, I decided to make good use of my time. I was getting up in the world. If I was working for Dom again I had to get BB to get me my SIN back so I could get at that money. Then the new job at Skagit was paying me real well, and with what I was making on the side in this caper I was making nuYen hand over fist. I must be on a good luck roll again.
Now that I had my own vehicle, it was time to get legal so I could use it. Now the Harley place was on 1st Ave 1305, for those that don't know, near the corner of University. I went north one block and took a left heading east to 4th Avenue walking east on Union. There was a limited Seattle liscence building there. It's a little closer to Dom's place than the Z Street lair but not that much closer.
Once outside I quickly located one of the various enterprising young street vendors willing to sell me the answers to the written test. They even had it packaged in convienent form so I wouldn't be spotted using said answers. They also gave me the lowdown on how to pass that part of the test and get a learners permit for motorcycle. It was the best 500 NuYen I ever spent.
I jandered in and got me the test and copied the Don I Moose name off my identity papers. The guy had shown me where to find it and my SIN # so I was good to go. Now all I had to do was copy the answers under each question. This was going to be a breeze.
Name: Don I. Moose Sin# 7734151
Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road?
A: What for? He can't see my license plate.
Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop at the same time?
A: The pick-up truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying, "Guns don't kill people. I do."
Q: When driving through fog, what should you use?
A: Your car or bike.
Q: What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk driving.
A: I'd probably lose my buzz a lot faster.
Q: What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could no longer drive lawfully?
A: I would be forced to drive unlawfully.
Q: What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light and a flashing yellow traffic light?
A: The color.
Q: How do you deal with heavy traffic?
A: Heavy psychedelics and a well loaded Ares Predator.
Q: What can you do to help ease a heavy traffic problem?
A: Don't use breath spray or underarm deodorant, never change socks or take a bath, carry loaded weapons, act like a psycho and drive offensively.
I don't know how the guy got me these answers but man they had to be sweet. The last thing I did was place a 1,000 NuYen Bill inside the paper and fold it. Then I handed it in. A few minutes later I was walking out with my new permit. Like I said it was the best money I ever spent. Mao was going to be so jealous. Now all I had to do was learn to ride.
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Post by Pelch Gobwit on Jul 23, 2007 1:08:07 GMT -5
I spent the rest of the afternoon in some serious thought. Shocker huh? Dwarf's aren't suppose to be heavy thinkers. We're just supposed to be making toys, or tinkering on gadgets or being grumpy. And then there's the gold, we all want the gold and we'll kill your babies to get it. Well kiss my hoop.
I jandered into a place for dinner, so I could stop and think a few minutes. I really didn't care which one and I expected the usual soy drek. I should have remembered I was in the upscale downtown area. The place was pretty nice, and CLEAN. I never saw CLEAN much. My life had been on the go since I pulled my hoop out of the harbor. I ordered a Cajun Fried Turducken sandwich and a Cajun Punch.
What's Cajun Punch? Easy recipe, chummer.
Take: 1 qt of orange concentrate 2 cups lemon concentrate 1 lg can pineapple juice 3 cups sugar 3 qt water 2 qt ginger ale 1 bottle cherries
Dissolve sugar in water and add remaining ingredients, except ginger ale. If you like, soak lemon rind and mint in punch before party. Remove before serving. Chill punch and pour over ice in bowl when ready to serve. Add ginger ale. That serves about 40 people, but then again I only needed and had a couple of cups. That Cajun turducken was HOT.
You got to hand it to Krass Drassel. It turned out to be a fairly decent meal. The fact that I didn't have to get it out of garbage can and could afford to eat it straight out of the cooker was a big bonus as well. That's what was bothering me.
Was I still working for Dom?
As far as I knew he and his squeeze were still putting NuYen in my account. The big thing about a Johnson is; if he is paying you then you better be earning it and not jerking around. Johnson's, as I pointed out before to Mao, don't pay you to do nothing. When they pay you for a job they want the job done!
Now I could make a case that Widow made the deal and she flew the coop. I could say that Johnson's deal was with her. I'd be literally correct but still morally wrong. Think about it. Pelch? A dwarf with morals? No way, I'm into survival and screwing over a Johnson no matter WHAT I THOUGHT the deal was wouldn't cut it if they were angry enough. You see I did originally go to Johnson for the job.
Let's face it. I wasn't going to get around it. I had to go see JJ. I hadn't got my SIN or my communicator back from BB so I couldn't tell BB or Mao to meet me and maybe that was for the best. Why did all these girls have double letters in their names? Anyway, I didn't have it because I was spying at Skagit. Why give them clues about where the hurt might be coming from when things went in the drekker?
I was much closer to The Siren than Z street now. I decided to go grab the bull by the horns. It was off to Dom's. I walked down Pine Street toward Dom's like it was old home week and ran right smack into a Lone Star road block and a big crowd 'ooohhh'ing and aaahhh'ing' behind a stupid yellow ribbon. I couldn't see anything as I tried to push through. I was too fragging short and the crowd wasn't budging. One troll took exception when I stepped on his horny calloused feet. He looked down glowering in disapproval.
"What's your fragging problem, halfer?"
"I'm trying to get to my job at the Siren, what's going on?" I asked politely. I can do polite rather than taking the chance of being squashed between warty green toes.
He picked me up so I could see. It appeared that someone had tried to run a garbage truck full of explosive into the Siren. From the bets going down, it was either a gang dispute or eco-terrorists P.O.'d about Skagit. My bet was the terrorists. The truck had slammed up over the sidewalk and the defenses had kicked in. The plasteel barriers had popped up and stopped the truck cold. It blew at the barrier and had hurt a lot of people outside the barrier and broke a lot of windows. The Siren wasn't even singed and the windows, triple strength plasteel, hadn't even bulged inward. The troll put me back down. Luckily, while I was in the air, I saw a place where the cops were letting people through.
I made my way to the line and showed my KD&A card to the Lone Star Goon. Well, actually, I showed BB's card to the goon. Security was good. Unlike the motorcycle guy he noted immediately that I wasn't a pretty teenage girl with blond hair. He also noted that Don I. Moose wasn't a registered worker at the Siren. (OOOPS.) It's a real pain in the hoop when you're incognito.
Naturally, they assumed I was another fragging eco-terrorist and made the perfectly logical assumption that I might be the rigger who had been remotely controlling said truck toward the Siren. I was a dwarf wasn't I? I had a data-jack, Right? I must be trying to sneak in during the confusion to carry out my nefarious eco-terrorist schemes on a local business. To them it was an open and shut case and they weren't listening to anything a lying, fragging, eco-terrorist was saying. They took me around back to 'interrogate' me. Like Mao I was formally introduced to a quick knee in the 'happy sacks' and several stun batons. I guess what goes around comes around. I was used to it after my Orientation at Skagit Valley but I did miss the nice soft trashcan they used to stuff me into.
I was hurting pretty good when someone inside must have been finally notified by another someone who finally sent out someone, a fragging bartender to eyeball the remains, one Coldswell Codswallop, looked me over like I was something that should be scraped of his shoe. Him and the security people for the Siren took retina, and DNA, heat scans, finger prints, voice prints and heck probably anal prints but who was noticing at the moment. They even had a mage look me over in the astral. Then the bartender consulted someone using his head-ware. He turned to the Lone Star goons, "Yeah, he actually is one of ours. We must have left him off the list by mistake. No hard feelings guys." He gave the Lone Star guys a palm slipped tip as a reward. "Better safe than sorry."
I tried to puke on their feet but I couldn't manage it. My body was in too much pain. The bartender obviously had muscle enhancement. He picked me up in one hand and like a guy carrying a cat by the back of the neck he took me inside. Maybe he wanted to 'interrogate' me too and just wanted to take his turn. Sometimes I'm so fragging slick I outsmart myself. I sure did it to myself this time. They didn't even know me as Pelch Gobwit. At least the Star didn't. I'm betting the bartender did. Luckily for me the Star still didn't know Pelch was a Moose.
On the way in he asked me a question. "You know a guy with a street name called 'Four Eyes'?" I managed to shake my head no, but it was an adventure in pain. He nodded but I wasn't sure he believed me. "I brokered a job to him for a Johnson. Paid him half up front and he never did the job or came back. Now the Johnson is a little put out, JJ ain't happy. I ain't happy and we have notified our collection agency to locate this guy to let him know why you don't stiff a Johnson through the Siren. You SURE you don't him?"
I was GLAD I didn't know him. I told the bartender so as he took me inside. I'm still not sure he believed me. Once again that fickle Biatch called LUCK had changed her evil mind about me. Just when things were getting sweet she had stuffed my head in the drekker..... and flushed twice.
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Post by Pelch Gobwit on Jul 24, 2007 2:19:38 GMT -5
OOC: Since Mao has been quiet, I thought I would move him along. It's obvious he just can't think of anything nasty enough to do to me at the moment. I'll give him a tip, to get even you have to take your time and set a stage. Let's set a stage.
Mao sat back in the fine office and sipped a white wine. It was a Montrachet 1978 from Domaine de la Romanée-Conti that was hammered down at Sotheby's in New York in 2001. The lot of seven bottles fetched $167,500, or $23,929 per bottle. This was an extraordinary price for a white wine, even in the rarefied world of wine collecting.
Ronilion in a Zoe's suit smiled as he raised his glass in a toast. "Sorry about the trolls but we had to make it look good to everyone. I assume the extra Nuyen for the pain and the healing spell have taken the worst off the event?"
Mao nodded, "It didn't take much to goad old Pelch into making his standard stupid move. He can be pretty stupid that way. I haven't let on that I know who he is. He just thinks of me as a dumb ex-cop."
"He'd be even more embarrassed if he knew that your not an ex. Speaking of Pelch, why are you two snooping around out here in Skagit Valley? En quiring minds want to know, mainly Eon and most especially Drassel."
"It seems Pelch and BB were commissioned to do a run by a Regan Savage. It was unclear to them who was doing the hiring, KD&A or an outsider looking for a vulnerability in the facility. Due to our special connection I knew it wasn't a KD&A sanctioned operation. I got myself invited along and here we are."
Ronilion looked with some amusement at Mao, "Regan Savage again. You know several weeks ago we commissioned, through a cutout Johnson and then to the Siren to have a runner called 'Four Eyes' investigate Regan Savage. After a couple of weeks with no report and no appearance we knew we were being stiffed by him and his runner pals. If there is anything we hate more than spending money, it's spending money and having some thief steal from us. Krass says a lesson should be made. Eon wanted to waste him and his whole group, but I found that a bit EXTREME. I asked her to let me handle the matter, since I already have a line on several of the members. We contacted the go between and put some pressure on him as well, so it wouldn't be generally known. Word is the cutout hired some muscle to locate the runner and deliver a message of our displeasure. That leads back to you."
"So that's why you told me not to return to the lair but to go investigate Regan Savage after the boat incident. You know BB and Pelch never questioned WHERE I was during all that time. You got my reports?"
"Most assuredly, We now know that Regan Savage was a blind, a wild goose chase. However, it gave us one valuable clue. Whoever the guy was he had to have had access to a lot of details about Regan in order to play games with her personnel information. You see in this day and age, child protection for business executives, especially ones in enclaves is usually top notch. Given the fact of the increase in crazies and sexual predators, not just any decker can get to the REAL data on a kid. Most decker's, doing a cursory run, get a pseudo file, we already had traced one such query to a troll called 'Sugar', but ignored it since she had a loose contact with 'Four Eyes' group. The second was when BB accessed the file. That's why we sent you back."
"You know who the guy is don't you."
"Sure it's Nestle's and your old pal Tony."
"Fraxing Tony again! I'm beginning to hate that guy. After talking to him the bombs went crazy! I'm still replacing lost equipment on that one."
"We know he is helping the eco-terrorists and that he was behind the attempted bombing of the Siren today. The insect shaman was another matter. Would you believe that shaman was hired by Governor Schultz during the last election to kill Krass. He got nervous when you said that "Wheels" was taping Tony. Schultz had been making offers to Nestle's using said Shaman to assassinate Krass, the shaman thought Dom and JJ were going to use you to protect Krass and they figured they were blown. They went after you guys naturally hoping to stop you. When that failed and the shaman was compromised. Schultz had them erase the connection with a missile."
Mao, smiled, "So Pops, BB and Wheels was correct, the plane did come from the UCAS government. We were on the right track, we just didn't finish it."
Ronilion nodded, "Probably for the best. Krass lost the election anyway. We needed Schultz out of the way. As for Tony, he was smart enough to know when to back off the Holloweeners and come at us from a new direction. His persistence is irritating. Now he is after Skagit Valley. It represents a HUGE investment in research and building. If he can make it a failure he may well bankrupt us and Dom as well. Even if we do survive it the payback will hurt dividends for years down the road. Drassel is of course VERY concerned."
"So now you're cozy with Schultz again? That's why I hate fraxing politics."
"Of course not. Publicly of course Schultz and Krass are working together in political good will for the citizens. Behind the scenes? That's another tale. Let's just say that after the election both are again biding their time."
"I think I'll just stay a Lone Star narc. It sure gave me a start when that guy 'Pop's' turned up as an investigator from the UCAS government. Of course it was Schultz who sent him to cover her hoop. Explains why he suddenly faded as well. So what's next? You realize that BB already sent out the first report to our pal Tony. By now he must know that Pelch and I are his only in to the valley. Do we take out Tony?"
"I would have had Eon do that if we knew who he was. He's a shape shifter you know. Heck, he could even have killed and replaced Regan Savage and be laughing at us. What I need is some way to magically trace him, but I need something of his to do that. So we baited a trap."
"Oh Drek, we're the bait."
"Of course. Actually Pelch is the bait more than you. We think Tony will try to give Pelch some kind of secret order. He'll bypass you and BB. We want BB to play it straight so we haven't had JJ alert her."
"So that was why JJ and Dom never said anything when most of the team ran like roaches into the shadows."
"Exactly. Now your job is to stick to Pelch like glue! When Tony contacts Pelch and he has to and he will contact him personally. You're going to use your magical adept skills to assense his aura. You won't approach him or attack him. Then we will use you as the focus for a spell that will lead me and Eon to him. From there on he's toast whenever we want him."
"You make it sound so easy, you know it won't be like that. Tony is going to be wary. He has to know someone will be watching Pelch. I may not be able to get past his mask his magic is much more powerful than anything I can do."
"That's why it has to be you. You're Pelch's partner. That's why Lone Star agreed to send you with the memory wipe in. They have been watching Pelch since he joined Dom's gang of merry smugglers and killers. Tony knows this and he knows you're a Star undercover Op. He knows you'll be there. What he doesn't know is that you work for me and even if he masks from what he thinks you are, I'll still be able to take whatever you get and use it against him. That piece of information is going to cost him, because he doesn't have a clue that you're stalking for me. He will protect against you but not me. You won't even know you're doing it."
"I assumed I was working for all of KD&A."
"Wrong, you work only for me. Know one else knows that I used the Star to assign you and now that Knuckles is dead no one ever will. Your file shows you on a Star deep cover assignment and you don't appear anywhere else in their files at all. No one in the Star will even question it because it is a sealed file and under an alias. I as that alias, am the only Star employee that holds the key. You see, under another name I am a major Lone Star stock holder and I can do many things there that even KD&A don't know about."
Mao looked shocked, "Why are you telling me all this, now?"
Ronilion shrugged, "Because you aren't going to remember any of it anyway. Your only memory will be about the beating and interrogation you took from the trolls for damaging KD&A property and your punishment for said infraction. Buried deep will be this knowledge but you will still do what I want done without knowing why. You will justify it to yourself and it will sound sweetly reasonable for anyone who tries to probe. You will continue to be the typical Mao that all your Friends know and love,your conscious mind won't know it until I again give you the code. Still you will know deep down, and you will be getting well paid to do the job the Star trained you so well to do." Ronilion waved his hand and Mao went back to sleep, the glass of wine dropping from his limp fingers. Ronilion pressed the buzzer. "Come and get this idiot and administer another beating, question him about eco-terrorist ties, then put him on punishment detail for the rest of the week." He sat back and smiled. like Drassel, after all it wouldn't do for the guards to know that Mao was his spy.
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Post by Pelch Gobwit on Jul 25, 2007 3:40:21 GMT -5
I was hauled into a back room and slammed into a chair. JJ the stripper gone semi-legit looked at me like the guy had just brought in the garbage. "Aren't you supposed to be dead?", she asked seriously.
I looked at her, "I am dead, you stupid tart!" I responded angrily. The bartender punched me upside the head and I fell out of the chair. Another muscle boy picked me back up and slammed me back into the hard chair so that my teeth rattled, actually I spit out a tooth with some blood. I hoped I messed up their expensive carpet but they didn't appear too concerned about that..
JJ looked at me. I could tell she was enjoying this moment in my continuing education. The lesson was don't talk back. I never was good in school. Actually I never went to school.
"I've heard that dwarfs as a group are stubborn and bone headed. It appears they can be criminally stupid as well. Let's try again. It seems you're not dead yet, but you might want to be if I don't get some answers real soon" She stated calmly. She could afford to be calm, I was the one taking the lumps. "The last we heard in the chaotic aftermath was that you had killed several Lone Star troopers, been kidnapped and was blown away in a helicopter heading out over the bay. Now you appear with a new identity at the same time some enterprising citizen tries to drive a bomb through our walls. I think you need to unburden your soul, Pelch. Confession could be good for you."
I glared at her, "Why don't you go ask Widow? Isn't she the one you should be talking to since she's the boss lady? As I recall it, you and her had this deal where I work directly for her. You want answers your asking the wrong peon, machuska. I told you when we first met, I talk to the boss. I don't talk to joy girls about my biz." This time the punches came from both sides at the same time. One in the guts and the other in my nuts. Looked like it was going to be a long session. I guess she didn't like the dwarf slang, a machuska is a woman that has had sexual relations with trolls, orcs, and donkeys. It was dwarf gutter slang. I guess she knew what it meant and so did her boys.
JJ waited until my eyes uncrossed and I stopped wheezing for breath. "Funny you should mention your boss. It appears she skipped out again. So did the two mages, Freddy and Gremlin as well as Quick, Wheels, Mao and your new decker, BB? She hasn't been in contact at all. According to Lone Star, the news reports and our information you're supposed to be sleeping with the fish. Let me make it clear. You're all I got. We paid you people good money. You work for us. It looks like we were stiffed. You better start talking or I'm going to have to make an example of not only you but everyone I catch up with. Get the picture yet stupid? It isn't just about you."
I sighed. It looked like I better say something. This was not worth taking more lumps for and I had been coming to tell her this stuff anyways. "You're not being stiffed, at least not by me. Just to clue you, I probably don't have a lot of the answers either. I came hear to let you know that we don't know what happened to Freddy, Gremlin, Quick, Wheels, or Widow. BB, Mao and I are working on a problem out at Skagit Valley. The job didn't come in through normal channels so I came to find out if we still work for Dom or not. As for your money, my SIN and access went into the bay when the helicopter took a missile. If you want your money back from me just haul it back out of the account, I never touched it. That was a deal you and Widow made between you. I don't have a clue what we were supposed to do to earn it."
JJ looked at me thoughtfully, "You may get lucky enough to get out of this alive yet, Pelch. So far, what you say doesn't contradict anything that I know. This is the first though that I've heard about you and what's left of the team playing around Skagit. Tell me about that."
I smiled with my missing tooth, "I can't ." The guys wound up but JJ motioned for them to wait. "I don't know much about it. BB took the job. Mao and I assumed it was from you. Lately though with things getting crazy I thought we had better touch base. Since Widow wasn't around and I happened to be closest I was elected. The way I understand it, only Widow had the direct link to you so this was our first chance to get in touch." She started to speak, "Before you ask me how BB got the job, I don't fragging know, OK? It's procedure for us. You don't tell a field operative all the details in case someone captures them and questions them. What I don't know I can't spill."
'You still haven't answered my question. What are you and I assume Mao doing at Skagit? I know BB must have told you what you're supposed to be doing and what to look for right?"
"Janitor work." I said literally. JJ didn't look amused but waited. I figured I better mix some more truth with lies. "BB didn't tell me what to look for. She just passed on some directions. Maybe she told Mao the story while I was prepping for the job but he hasn't told me either. The only orders I got was to look around, and see if Security was tight. That's why we figured it either came from KD&A or Dom. We figured we were assigned to back stop Security just in case. You know a watch the watchers kind of thing, or maybe like inspectors to see if they are doing their jobs right. It seems reasonable to us that Dom would want us to do it and fits why we were originally hired for intelligence and penetration work so we went with it. Now it looks like with you asking these questions too that maybe Dom your boyfriend bypassed you. Maybe he has the hots for Eon, while street talk says you're playing machuska with Krass. He would certainly qualify." The guards pounded me but good this time.
That gave her something to think about. Man I love corporate bull drek where everyone has to be paranoid. Now she would be wondering if someone was playing behind her back! I kept the smile off my face and just tried to look like a beaten wreck. It was an easy look for me. I passed out.
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HeadCrack
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I have made 21 posts
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Post by HeadCrack on Jul 26, 2007 0:12:56 GMT -5
Pelch came to a while later. He was lying on his back on what appeared to be a cardboard box lying on the floor. Seated nearby was a fairly large ork sliding back and forth between a work station and a nearby desk. The backless office chair had one wheel that squeaked and the incessant screaching was what had brought the hairless dwarf back from whatever land of dreams his unconsciousness had taken him to. A fiberoptic cable ran from Pelch's datajack to what appeared to be a partially assembled electronic device of some sort. Images, voices and data flashed thru Pelch's brain, as more and more synapses started firing for the halfer.
The incessant squealing of the tire on the office chair came to a halt, and Pelch squinted thru his unswollen left eye into a smiling, tusk filled Ork face located about 6 inches from his nose. The ork was wearing a heavy set of mono-glass goggles. The dark pompador practically perched on top of the otherwise hairless head of the ork, and he grinned even bigger as he realized the halfer was semi conscious.
Pelch blinked again and the ork moved back, the chair squeaking once more. The ork possessed an obvious cyber-limb replacement for his left arm, and his yellow T-shirt stretched over the bulging torso that was the rest of him. Mid thy tight fitting shorts covered his lower half, with hairy legs exposed between the shorts and the heavy leather work boots that served as the ork's foot ware. A thick leather gun belt encirled the ork's waist and the left hand draw gun sat high on his hip, a smartlink cable running from it to the datajack just behind the ork's left ear. A second data jack, also with a fitted fibre-optic cable glimmered on his left temple above the goggles. The second fibre-optic cable ran down to a heavily modified cyber-deck, which the ork tapped a few quick keystrokes on, then pushed the goggles down around his neck.
"HEeeyyyy!! Look who's awake...."
The ork reached down left handed and pulled the struggling with reality Dwarf to a halfway sitting position. The ork seemed not to struggle at all.
"Pelch Gobwit, right? Oh, wait...." He chuckles..."It's Don I Moose these days right?" Nodding to no one in particular, the ork pushed himself back over to the desk where he picked up a couple tools and pushed himself back, the wheel squeaking again.
Pelch reached up to remove the fibre optic cable from his datajack, but the ork was back in range and slapped the dwarf's hand away.
"Unh, unh, unhhh....JJ told me to get you an edjumacation, and that's what that lil' baby is doin'..."
The dwarf shook his head slightly, trying to clear the cobwebs but stoped at the mention of the little striper slitch that he'd taken on as one of his 'handlers'.
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Post by Pelch Gobwit on Jul 26, 2007 2:25:01 GMT -5
Freddy calling from outside before he goes in. Just in case the current tenants are jumpy. Freddy walks into a fearsome BB rather than the mild-mannered hacker he had expected..with the news that Pelch and Mao were out on a job - and he was still working for Widow set him up all curious.. so while they went through the detailed scan, he posed a few teasers of his own..
Hiya BB.. how’s everything here in the bowels of the Tomato -Cave? Sorry I haven't been in touch for a while – some biz for Mr D.
BB, angrily "Where the heck has everyone been? Besides you don't WORK for Mr D, you're suppose to be working DIRECTLY for Widow! IF she comes back you are going to be in the deep DREK for skipping out. Pelch and Mao are already working on the next job."
So fill me in – whats been happening, who’s doing what and where..
BB, "No way! Not while the rest of you are playing games. You come in, we find out where you stand and then maybe we talk. I'm not going to blow this op over loose lips. I trust you REMEMBER how to find your way back to Z Street, Room Six?""
Before you do, you should go through the full checks – retina dna voice.. just in case it’s not me.
As an extra check, even if I had been cloned or something, it would bee a bit too much for them to be able to work the mana..
I wanted to see if you could detect me when I looked like you.. retina checks out voice is fine but dna swab is me.. that’s only because I am so up close to be able to copy you so well.. sorry it must bug you – it is only an illusion though, here, close your eyes an rub my cheek – scratchy see!
Freddy used a Physical Mask to look like BB – with enough information you could trick most people and sensors, but you had to be up and close for a while to make a good copy. Roll required please:
Freddy assenses BB, then carefully scans her retina and dna patterns, casting aPhysical Mask so he looks sounds and should check out as her..
sorcery 6 die snake +2 snig +2pool +6 16 dice total got x2 6s then a 5 and a 6 =11 12
Drain 8die no probs
Freddy assumes the shape and form of BB, then uses the retina scanner fingerprints and a mouth swab please confirm voice ID retina scan confirm BB fingerprints confirmBB dna check BB voice recognition correct - welcome BB
we need to up the security BB, If I can do it, others can.
BB Detection roll using Z street Scanners:
6, 6, 2, 4, 4, 2 + 2 Rule of Six
6, 4 + 1 Rule of Six
2 BB Total = 36
Freddy continued the conversation, “So who’s doing what? Mr Moose and Mao – cant we just get security clearance through Dom to go and have a dig into Skagit? Doesn’t he have an influence, or his boss Krass own the place? I suppose it is a good security review.”
BB, suspicious, if this guy can walk in being her it could be anyone! It may not even be Freddy and this guy knows to much! "Who said anything about Skagit? Who said anything about Moose? Where are you coming up with this info if you haven't been here and you're working for Mr. D elsewhere? You are so in trouble Mr if you don't have some good answers." BB places finger on Security button.
What about the hit on Dom- the bomb? Any noos on that? Whats the Star report - it wouldn’t be high-grade ex like they used on us..?
The others in the team gone to ground or just gone..? So we’re sitting twiddling our fingers..
BB glares but does not answer.
OK Theres a few people I recently linked in with who have a vested intrest in a job coming up - and a couple of fone traces I need you to chase so we know where we’re going. Whichever team is going out will need flights – we just picked up an executive jet by the way, it will need re-registering – in fact it could do with a trace. Theres a few bank accounts to fathom too. If you could leave them until later though.
I will give Meg a call to tell her if I’m off again or not.. Freddy fades back from BB to hmself.. She is understandably shocked at seeing herself, and seeing herself being allowed access to.. well everything.
Caff – one or two sweeters?
"Don't try sweeteners with me. You better start explaining or I push this button and ten tons of Drek comes down on your head!" BB stated tightly.
Freddy IGNORES the threat, “Lets get down to biz..the attack on Dom needs looking into - we'll need Star reports, no doubt others have looked at the site too - be nice to see what they've come up with.. might link it to the Insect mercs.Pelch and Mao they’re doing things – fine It would be good to get a snatch squad together too for a potential venture south of the border let alone a few people to fill in the gaping holes left by, erm , us.two scans for anyone coming in as well - there wont be many mages with skillwires either, so get me to jack in a chip..
BB presses the button. And as promised the Drek falls!
Even as Freddy starts to move forward, a plasteel encloser slams down sealing him off from the room. The glass DARKENS so he does not have line of sight out of the encloser. Freddy notes the encloser like the ceiling and floor is also treated with Fab IV which prevents him from escaping astrally. Freddy can hear an alarm going off and a harsh voice of the system. "SECURITY ALERT! This facility has been penetrated by an unauthorized mage. Level One Security has been invoked. Level Two Security-ON-LINE and active."
BB spoke harshly, "I don't know who you are. I don't know what game you're playing. I have now activated a dead man switch. If anything happens to me you are SO DEAD! I suggest you listen carefully and answer my questions or you may be dead anyway."
"I'll have you know Mr. Intruder, that I have been STUDYING the Security systems of this lair while most of my team has been missing. I've discovered a lot of things that the original team doesn't know. Now, I don't know how you know about Don Moose. Freddy, the REAL Freddy, should know nothing about him! He should also know absolutely nothing about anything in Skagit, through Dom or otherwise. That run is not being done through JJ or Dom! Also Freddy should be smart enough NOT to do something this blatantly stupid right after the last run when everyone is on edge! So I would suggest that you start making with some answers and they had better be good or I'm going to send a hundred thousand volts into that enclosure and maybe some nerve gas for good measure. Start talking buster!" [rand=365087423433389563824804818947632495484681812619705768608494002769]
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Post by Pelch Gobwit on Jul 26, 2007 3:25:49 GMT -5
I woke up feeling surreal, like Ozzy Osbourne woke up married to Florence Henderson. I was definitely in the hurt. What was worse I seemed to be paralyzed from the neck down. I had heard of hospitals doing this. I think it was called a sensory shunt. Looks like I wouldn't be making any escapes after leaving my 'Z' cut into someone's suit.
I looked around and saw a big UGLY orc messing with some tech drek. He must have fallen out of an ugly tree and hit every fragging branch on the way down.
"HEeeyyyy!! Look who's awake...."
"Pelch Gobwit, right? Oh, wait...." He chuckles..."It's Don I Moose these days right?" Nodding to no one in particular, the ork pushed himself back over to the desk where he picked up a couple tools and pushed himself back, the wheel squeaking again.
Pelch reached up to remove the fiber optic cable from his data jack, but the ork was back in range and slapped the dwarf's hand away.
"Unh, unh, unhhh....JJ told me to get you an edjumacation, and that's what that lil' baby is doin'..."
The dwarf shook his head slightly, trying to clear the cobwebs but stopped at the mention of the little striper slitch that he'd taken on as one of his 'handlers'.
It looked like the paralyzation was starting to wear off and Pelch was NOT in a good mood. Especially considering that said slitch had just had her minions administer two beatings today and now was fragging with his mind. He didn't care how cheerful or nice this guy thought he was, as far as he was concerned JJ had fired his butt and he didn't owe her and her gang of merry fraggers anything except payback! He glared at the orc. "Gee, three bastrads walk out and one comes in. Edjumacation, is that the word their using for brain washing these days? So you the one laying the machuska, pervert? So how does it feel to get sloppy seconds after Krass? Sort of like you're sticking it into Grand Canyon? Maybe you ought to take up a new past time. You could be the third guy, you know the one with the watermelons."
The orc looked confused at Pelch but said nothing. Pelch continued as feeling started to come back to his limbs. Given enough time he was mad enough to tie this fragger into knots! He continued to stall for time. Given a few more minutes he was going to be able to get up and and stick this fraggers deck up his backside, sideways. He looked at the orc calmly and spoke lightly as if joking, but one look in his eyes and you could see that he was dead serious.
The story goes like this, weeny weenie. Three men were robbing a bank, and they were shot and killed. God came down and said, "I'll give your lives back if you can pull off one more caper. I'll give you all twenty more minutes of life right now to go to the supermarket down the street, steal three pieces of fruit apiece, and bring them back here for further instructions"
The first guy comes back with three grapes. God says, "If you can put all three grapes in your butt while keeping a straight face, I'll give you your life back. If not, I'll send you straight to hell, no hand-basket required."
He starts to stick the grapes into his butt, but when he gets to the third one, he grimaces slightly. BOOM! With a clap of thunder, and a bolt of lightning, he is sent straight to hell without delay.
The second guy has three apples. With no small effort, he manages to get the first two in without slipping. But as he picks up the third one, he starts laughing hysterically.
So God says, "You couldn't keep a straight face, so now it's your turn to go to hell. But I can't help but ask, why in the world were you laughing like that?"
He says "Because Mao is on his way back with three watermelons!"
Pelch looked at the orc as more feeling started to flood his limbs. It wouldn't be long now. He smiled at the orc with one tooth missing. It wasn't a kindly or pleasant smile.
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